“We are not human beings trying to be spiritual. We are spiritual beings trying to be human.”
— Jacquelyn Small

Understanding Your Emotions

The key to replacing pain and unease with joy and love is being aware of the process in our minds that creates unease from the pain we experience, and the choices we make thereafter – we call this “becoming aware.”

Unease and suffering are a choice.

After years of conditioning, we may find this statement unfair – impossible to understand, unrealistic, even too simplistic – but once we accept that the way we approach any situation, circumstance, or relationship is always our own choice, we begin to live this truth!

This is a small but significant step: understanding that you have control over your reality. Through simple practices, you will feel and see immediate changes in your life. New feelings and behaviours, based on the new perceptions created by this practice, will change your reality in ways that you would never have believed possible.

This does not mean you will never feel bad. If you are human and living on this planet, you will experience pain. However, the choice of whether to live with pain or to replace it with another emotion is a choice you can make at any moment!

Let us show you how!

The goal here isn’t to eliminate all negative emotion and pain. Rather, it is to feel your authentic feelings (whatever they are), understand them, learn from them, and release them. All of our emotions are important. They alert us to what we need to focus on, what we need to learn, and what we are ready to let go of. This is how we evolve emotionally and spiritually.


One of the simplest ways to gain an understanding of our thoughts and feelings, and the behaviours that often follow, is by observing our interactions with others. Try this:

Exercise 1: To become more aware each day, the next time you judge, criticize, or blame someone else, ask yourself afterward, “Did I feel better or worse?” The next time you offer love or kindness to someone, ask the same question: “Did I feel better or worse?” Use the question to ascertain what does and does not bring you peace. Your answer will be obvious, and it will begin to stimulate your desire for more peace of mind.

The next time you judge, criticize, or blame someone else, just take a moment to quiet the mind if you can. Then, instead – and as difficult as it may be to overcome your anger, resentment, or feelings of lack – send a kind thought, utter a loving word, or do an act of kindness in its place. See how that act alone changes the interaction or the other person’s behaviour.

Exercise 2: To do each day (as many times as possible): whenever you feel any unease or pain – any at all – ask yourself, “How am I feeling?”

These simple exercises are designed to begin the process of learning to feel again.

When we were growing up, our feelings may have been dismissed as unimportant, and perhaps we felt that the feelings of others were more important. Or perhaps we were smothered to the point where we couldn’t think for ourselves – or, worse, suffered abuse and trauma, and were unsure of what we felt at all.

Whatever the reasons, many of us found that our feelings were discounted, and treated as if they didn’t matter … This is a lesson we carry through life. As a result, we learned to suppress our true feelings. Yet understanding what we feel is vital to our well-being, prosperity, happiness, and joy!

So, as often as you can, say these words: “How am I feeling?” Right now, say it!

Now, express your feelings to yourself. If you feel angry, say, “I feel angry!” Feel sad? Say, “I feel sad” – or “hurt,” “lonely,” “frustrated,” “anxious” …

Also, if you feel at peace, say it: “I feel at peace.” Or say, “I feel love” or “I feel loving” – or “joyful”, “confident,” “hopeful,” and so on.

This simple practice should be done whenever you think to do it. We are so used to not feeling that we need to establish habits that help us realize “what it is we are feeling.”

For this week, practice these simple exercises daily – learn to feel how you truly feel.

In time, you will learn to identify the feelings associated with your behaviours, and then to change both instantly, replacing any unease or fear you experience with joy and peace.

Enjoy your week – feel your way through it – with love!